Admitting when we’re wrong

There are several iconic lines in the 1975 blockbuster movie, Jaws. For example, “You’re gonna need a bigger boat,” has been repeated or paraphrased in numerous films.

My personal favorite is when Quint, the crusty old fisherman played by Robert Shaw, tells Matt Hooper, the know-it-all young scientist played by Richard Dreyfuss, “Well, it proves one thing Mr. Hooper. It proves that you wealthy college boys don’t have the education enough to admit when you’re wrong.”

I’ll admit that, as the only one of seven siblings without a college degree, I used to favor common sense and traditional wisdom over academic intellectualism. Now that I am older – READ: old – I try to look at things from as many different perspectives as I can. However, I generally prefer scientific method over traditional wisdom or gut feelings.

It seems universally true that most people, including me, don’t want to admit when they are wrong. In “Why Some People Will Never Admit That They’re Wrong” published in Psychology Today, Guy Winch writes,

No one enjoys being wrong. It’s an unpleasant emotional experience for all of us. The question is how do we respond when it turns out we were wrong. (...)

Some of us admit we were wrong and say, ‘Oops, you were right. (...)

Some of us kind of imply we were wrong, but we don’t do so explicitly or in a way that is satisfying to the other person. ... We accept responsibility fully or partially (sometimes, very, very partially), but we don’t push back against the actual facts.

But what about when a person does push back against the facts, when they simply cannot admit they were wrong in any circumstance? What is it in their psychological makeup that makes it impossible for them to admit they were wrong, even when it is obvious they were? And why does this happen so repetitively – why do they never admit they were wrong?

The answer is related to their ego; their very sense of self.

I am a lifelong Democrat. Sometimes I’ve defended a Democrat, or Democrats, because of party loyalty, even when I pretty much knew they were wrong. For example, in 1998 President Bill Clinton was impeached primarily for lying under oath and obstructing justice while trying to conceal his extramarital affair with White House intern Monica Lewinsky. I mostly excused Bill Clinton on the flimsy grounds that, although it was wrong for him to lie, it was understandable and excusable and even honorable for him to want to spare his wife and daughter and even the nation from the shame and tawdriness implicit in the sexual affair.

Nowadays, however, I have zero respect for Bill Clinton. I admit that I was wrong to excuse his lies and bad behavior. I will further admit that many years passed before I was able to make that admission. As a journalist, I have to be thick-skinned. But maybe my ego was more fragile than I thought.

Winch continues,

Some people have such a fragile ego, such brittle self-esteem, such a weak ‘psychological constitution,’ that admitting they made a mistake or that they were wrong is fundamentally too threatening for their egos to tolerate. Accepting they were wrong, absorbing that reality, would be so psychologically shattering that their defense mechanisms do something remarkable to avoid doing so – they literally distort their perception of reality to make it (reality) less threatening. Their defense mechanisms protect their fragile ego by changing the very facts in their mind, so they are no longer wrong or culpable.

Indeed, rather than admit that Bill Clinton was a sleazy lying adulterer, I shifted the blame to America’s puritanical history and resultant prudishness, arguing that progressive European nations like France or Italy wouldn’t have a problem with their president lying about an extramarital affair. In a modern civilized culture, that’s what one does in such a situation, right? Er ... no, that’s not right.

Not everyone who voted for Donald Trump identifies with the MAGA movement. Some are lifelong Republicans who always vote for Republicans, just as I’m a lifelong Democrat who always votes for Democrats.

In Gallup News, Jeffrey Jones writes that a “new high of 45% in U.S. identify as political independents; more independents lean Democratic than Republican, giving Democrats edge in party affiliation for first time since 2021.”

He continues, “The recent increase in independent identification is partly attributable to younger generations of Americans (millennials and Generation X) continuing to identify as independents at relatively high rates as they have gotten older. In contrast, older generations of Americans have been less likely to identify as independents over time. Generation Z, like previous generations before them when they were young, identify disproportionately as political independents.”

I have mixed feelings about Independents. On one hand, I believe there are clear and distinct differences between the two major parties that make it easy for me to choose to be a Democrat. I focus mainly on what the Democratic party represents and not on individual candidates. On the other hand, I can understand and empathize with voters — especially younger voters — who are fed up with, and even exhausted by, the rancor and vitriol between the two major parties.

Moreover, identifying as an Independent allows voters the freedom to micromanage their political beliefs and decisions – as opposed to accepting the “party line” adopted and promoted by either of the two major parties. In short, party loyalty comes with a price – that Independents presumably don’t have to pay.

Independent voters in critical swing states such as Arizona, North Carolina, Georgia and Pennsylvania were key to Donald Trump’s victory in the 2024 presidential election. (Those same Independent voters also helped several Democrats win their Senate races.) Considering President Trump’s abysmally low approval ratings — on tariffs and the economy, healthcare, gas and energy prices, the federal budget, immigration, Iran, Ukraine — I can’t help but wonder if some of them now regret voting for Trump.

One anonymous man who voted for Trump in 2024 admitted that things were “not going well. I was looking yesterday and, you know, Americans have lost over $1 trillion in their wealth in the last year, while the top 1% has gained over $10 trillion. And it’s like, that’s not exactly what was supposed to be happening.”

Or is it? I would argue strongly that this is exactly what Trump wants – the rich are getting richer, while the rest of us are not.

Regardless of his motives, Trump has seriously soured the American economy, and his tariffs and policies have hurt the economies of numerous friendly countries such as Canada, Mexico, Japan, Australia, Germany and other European allies. Yet Trump’s MAGA base continues to confuse their stubborn loyalty and blindness to the truth with inner strength and moral conviction.

It’s commonly known that we all make mistakes. Although it’s painful, we need to admit our mistakes, learn what we can from them, and resolve to make amends for them if possible.

And that includes MAGA Trump voters.

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