Gary Pearlman of Cleveland set a Guiness World Record™ for the biggest free floating soap bubble in 2015 with a bubble that spanned 96.27 cubic meters (3,399.7 cubic feet for Americans too dumb to know metric). But surely that record has now been broken by the bubble that surrounds the Trump Administration and its quislings. How else could you explain how they have no — zero, zip, zilch, nada, ningún, aucun — idea of how normal Americans see their actions?
This bubble isn’t new, but it has grown much, much larger.
Let’s start with Kristi Noem, current secretary of the Department of Homeland Security, former governor of South Dakota, former member of Congress, and confirmed puppy killer. Noem detailed in her autobiography No Going Back: The Truth on What’s Wrong with Politics and How We Move America Forward how she decided that Cricket, a 14-month-old wire-haired pointer who killed some chickens and bit Noem, was “a trained assassin” (I couldn’t make this up), took her to a gravel pit, and shot her dead. With her bloodlust unquenched, Noem then gave what she described as a bad-tempered, smelly goat the same treatment. As this mayhem was concluding, Noem’s poor daughter alights from her school bus at the scene of Noem’s crime and asks plaintively, “Hey, where’s Cricket”? It was like the worst black comedy ever.
Noem’s point, at least according to herself, was that she was that she was willing to take “difficult, messy, and ugly” actions. What size of a bubble and how impenetrable must that bubble be that you think people would deem you a practical, hard-nosed politician instead of a monster who eschewed the more obvious, compassionate choices and went straight to puppy killing? Tommy Vietor, Obama-flak-turned-podcaster put it best: “Truly can’t wrap my mind around Kristi Noem bragging about murdering a 14-month-old puppy and somehow thinking it makes her look good. More like Jeffrey Dahmer with veneers.”
But that’s the Trump Regime writ large. For reasons that can only make sense if you live in the world’s biggest bubble, the Administration thinks that they can spin the needless murder of a white mother of three on her very own street as — as what? That it’s OK because … soccer moms are so dangerous? That trigger-happy ICE agents with hair-trigger tempers somehow make us safer? They think that, because their own base will take Donald J. Trump’s word over the evidence of their own two eyes, the other 75% of Americans will fall right in line? Because #MAGA is so bad at math that the Trump Regime interprets a majority of Americans saying Renee Good’s death was unjustified as somehow good news? That people saying that ICE is making the United States less safe should encourage them to do more of the same tactics the public abhors? That somehow as more and more and more ICE brutality comes to light, the numbers won’t plummet more? That, now that new ICE agents are hired with no background checks (proof here and here) and trained for only six weeks, the public will hear about more incidents involving trigger-happy ICE agents with an ax to grind and a sense of “absolute immunity.” That immunity is according to Vice President James Bowman, better known by his drag name, JD Vance. But don’t take my word for it! Hays County, Texas, Sheriff Ruben Becerra is just one of many legit law-enforcement officers detailing how terribly trained the new ICE agents are. Can’t imagine why they think any of that will resound in their favor come this fall in the midterms. Oh, right! Giant bubble!
ICE killed 32 people in 2025 — the agency’s most deadly in two decades. Someone outside the Trump bubble would pause and reflect, but this is the Trump Regime we’re talking about, so they’re incapable of reflection or admitting error. Instead, they’re going to double down, and we will have not only widely viewed videos of ICE murders but of ICE maimings, like dozens of illegal chokeholds, the U.S. citizen they blinded, the teenaged U.S. citizen they beat up and stole his phone to fence, or the children who were needlessly teargassed.
Yet, the Trump Regime believes most Americans are going to go with the latest implausible spin from Kristi Noem over their own two eyes. Now that’s a really, really BIG bubble. Hey, Guinness World Records, I think I have a new bubble record for you!
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